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13/Apr/2005 | 08:56

Naming a product by committee is a dangerous thing. It tends to, but not always, lead to silly product names like "Entourage" and "Paint Shop Pro"[1][1] Paint Shop Pro comes out of this article as soon as my copy of Paint Shop Standard arrives.. I have the feeling GIMP was named on a mailing list.

Looks like Apple's getting into the boat by finalizing the new name for ZeroConf Rendezvous OpenTalk: Bonjour. No, seriously.

"Hey, Bob, welcome to the meeting. Just hook up your laptop and we'll be ready to go."

"Hey, Bill. Are we all on Bonjour here?"

"What? Bob, you're fired, you elitist prick."

So maybe that exchange won't happen, but the new name isn't destined to help eliminate the misconception that all Mac users are all pretentious aesthetics whores with silly computers.

With this HOT NEW NAME, I thought perhaps Apple would like some help dreaming up other new, chic product names for future versions of Bonjour:

Ciao

Benvenuto

That Easy Networking Stuff

Not Just iChat

Easily Overlooked Protocol

iDiscover

Fill Strangers' Drop Boxes with Porn™

Now if you'll excuse me, someone just messaged me via Rendezvous.

14 Comments:

Well, at least it's not an oxymoron.

Like Microsoft Works.

...

Yeah, I know... Lame.

posted by doughnut on April 13, 2005 at 09:11

I wanted to post this as a comment instead of a footnote:

I'm not complaining that there was a name change (it's hard to argue with "this name belongs to another product" sometimes), but mocking the final name to which it was changed.

Seriously, Bonjour? Whiskey tango foxtrot.

posted by mikey-san on April 13, 2005 at 09:12

I think something like "Hey, you!" or even "Yo!" would have worked just fine.

Funny that you should mention oxymoronic names like Microsoft Works (which doesn't) and LAME (which is a pretty damn good codec)

posted by JT on April 13, 2005 at 10:23

I would have called it
Blah blah blah, I'm a dirty whore(tm)

but thats just me.

posted by Clark on April 13, 2005 at 10:36

Yes, that's you. You're a dirty whore.

posted by mikey-san on April 13, 2005 at 10:37

Its just a shame its French.

posted by Hippieman on April 13, 2005 at 10:37

At least it's not Canadian.

*ducks stuff his friends from Canadia throw at him*

posted by mikey-san on April 13, 2005 at 10:38

I guess the judge said "I sentence you to a really stupid name". that's what happened to me but I got lucky, I'm just "Leechman"... not "Captain Bonjour".

I guess "Aloha" was taken. What was wrong with Zeroconf anyway?

posted by President Leechman on April 13, 2005 at 11:51

Hey, Leechman! I recognize you from the shoutbox on Chris Bishop's Her! site.

Small Interweb, ain't it?

posted by mikey-san on April 13, 2005 at 13:36

Ah, I see angle brackets were a bad choice.

posted by emelenjr on April 13, 2005 at 17:43

Ouch. Yeah, sorry. Had to delete the comment with the unencoded wedge before it did more damage to the page.

posted by mikey-san on April 13, 2005 at 20:05

At least it works. As the Bard once said " A rose by any other name would smell as sweet"
So you might call a rose a dog turd but it would still smell like a rose, and vicy verca.

posted by Richard Dalziel-Sharpe on April 14, 2005 at 03:57

"the misconception that all Mac users are all pretentious aesthetics whores with silly computers."

That's a misconception?

*ducks and covers*

posted by clark on April 20, 2005 at 14:02

Yes.

Some of us are just elitist snobs.

posted by mikey-san on April 20, 2005 at 15:21